3,764 miles

Scott called on Saturday. He finished his bike ride from Florida to San Diego. 3,764 miles! What a stud. That's more miles than I drove in my car last year. Scott should swing by our place soon, and when he does I'll be tempted to ask him if he wants to go for a bike ride, and I can't tell if that will be funny or not.
Speaking of which I finally saw one of those anti-SUV ads which blame SUVs for funding terrorists. Yes, there are lots of reasons why we'd all be better off with fewer SUVs on the roads. SUVs have proven to cause more auto fatalities (studies have shown that SUVs don't make you any safe, and at the same time people who aren't in SUVs are more likely to die when you hit them with your massive vehicle), they do get much worse gas mileage, and that does contribute in part to America sending money to Iraq and Saudi Arabia which are terrorist friendly nations. Still, the reactions of most people who've seen the ads lead me to believe that the shock value may turn off too many people to be effective in motivating action.

Antwone Fisher

"Who will cry for the little boy, lost and all alone?
Who will cry for the little boy, abandoned without his own?
Who will cry for the little boy? He cried himself to sleep.
Who will cry for the little boy? He never had for keeps.
Who will cry for the little boy? He walked the burning sand.
Who will cry for the little boy? The boy inside the man.
Who will cry for the little boy? Who knows well hurt and pain.
Who will cry for the little boy? He died and died again.
Who will cry for the little boy? A good boy he tried to be.
Who will cry for the little boy, who cries inside of me?"
- Antwone Fisher

Hi-def TIVO

Hi-def TIVO would be sweet, though I'll believe it once I see it. My first PVR was a ReplayTV which didn't work quite right. It was a free sample, though, so I can't complain. Then I bought a modified TIVO (didn't want to pay TIVO's monthly subscription so I bought one with a paid lifetime subscription) and modified it by adding a huge hard drive to give myself more recording space.
I hear people say that the reason PVR's don't sell well is that they're hard to explain to people. Well, those people aren't very bright.

Jim Ford's listening room

Thursday evening I got a treat. Jim Ford invited me to his house in Bellevue to test out his new listening room. I first met Jim on a project a few years back. He's a search software engineer, and we worked together on Amazon.com's movie showtimes site. Working with him was something I'll always remember because he was the consummate professional. Just did his job and did it well. Amazon's such a young company, and sometimes over the past five and a half years I've just taken for granted that co-workers may be occasionally moody, political, lazy, or high maintenance. Then I'll work with someone like Jim and remember the type of person we should all aspire to surround ourselves with.
Before Jim earned his Master's in computer science at the University of Illinois in Urbana, he was a music teacher. Now he's a successful software engineer, but he hasn't lost his love for music. He plays the upright bass, and over the past two years he's designed and built a music listening room as an addition to his house. It's the most impressive music room in someone's house that I've ever been to, and it rivals the best studio demo rooms I've been in. He worked with acousting engineers to design every last bit of it.
The room has all the essential qualities of an ideal listening room. It's dimensions are 15 x 20 feet, approximately, which is a good ratio. Of course the room is perfectly rectangular. He has sliding sound panels at the front and sides of the room, and they can be positioned to cancel standing waves and to optimize for different types of listening or playing. The ceiling is sloped so as not to reflect music back down on the listener. Hardwood floors all around. The back wall is the most interesting thing. It was custom designed using a series of cedar wood boards turned sideways and jutting out at different lengths. Each set of sixteen boards, each about an inch thick from the side, jut out in a varied series of lenghts which scatter the sound waves which hit the back wall. The door to the room is double hinged and is as thick as a bank vault door. When closed, a switch on the side drops a rubber lining to the bottom of the floor to prevent sound from escaping through the space beneath the door.
The entire back wall is a series of five doors. The first leads to a side entrance where musician friends can enter and exit the listening room. The next two doors open to the room which holds some storage space and his musical components, all of which are made by Musical Fidelity. The next door reveals a series of Boltz USA CD racks which are mounted on sliding rails. The last door leads to the rest of the house.
And then there are the speakers. B&W 802s (same as mine! great minds hear alike), a pair of them, at the front of the room, toed in to face the two sofa chairs seated side by side about two-thirds of the way back in the room. The entire feel of the room is spare and clean.
What was left but to pour ourselves a glass of Pinot Noir from the vineyards of New Zealand (where I'll be in about two weeks) and sit ourselves down for some listening. I brought some of my favorite CDs, and Jim had compiled a selection of recordings which would show off his system properly. I let Jim do the honors, as you never touch another man's home theater components (it's like driving another man's car without asking permission), and he started us off by loading Diana Krall's Love Scenes. I knew it would be a good night. Not only does Krall have a great voice, but she knows how to use it and her CD's are always impeccably engineered. She's a darling among audiophiles.
If you've never tested someone's listening room, all you really do is bring your favorite CDs and take turns suggesting tracks to listen to. Then you just sit back in the chair and close your eyes and listen to music. Afterwards you chat about the quality of the recording and the qualities of the sound in the performance. It sounds goofy, but if the listening room is engineered well, it's heaven.
Closing your eyes allows you to focus all your senses on the sound, and if everything comes together, then suddenly Diana Krall is standing on a stage about 10 feet away, singing tunes just for you. And there she was. The sound came through as transparent as can be, and that's the highest compliment you can pay an audio system.
Next came the grand daddy of classical showpieces, a track which has been copied in just about every sci-fi space movie soundtrack ever: Mars from Gustav Holtz's The Planets. The most acclaimed recording, and the one we used, is the recording by Charles Dutoit and the Montreal Symphony Orchestra. You know that Memorex print ad where the guy sitting in the sofa is being literally blown away by music from the stereo in front of him? That was me.
Jim and his wife Kathy enjoy classical and jazz, so that's where we focused our evening's lineup. We moved next to Bach's Unaccompanied Cello Suites, as played by Yo Yo Ma. This time we chose his earlier recording from 1983. It's been a long time since I've heard this piece, and the recording I own is the one by Janos Starker. Ma's interpretation is quite good, and the rich sound of his cello expanded to fill the room. I have to make a note to myself to get a copy of this recording.
And so it went. Jim and Kathy and I, just sitting in this soundproof (to the outside world) vault, with our eyes closed, just listening to one CD after another. Time started to slide away as my consciousness narrowed to just listen. It has been many months since I can remember feeling so relaxed, so at peace. I definitely think I've had too many demands and stimuli in my life this past year, and it has made me anxious, jittery, and impatient. In Jim's listening room, every CD sounded like a live performance, and I was content to reduce myself to a pair of appreciative ears. My pulse must have dropped below 40.
Among other fantastic recordings we sampled from, all of which I highly recommend for the audiophiles among you or those just looking to add a few great jazz and classical CDs to your collection:
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon soundtrack by Tan Dun and featuring Yo-Yo Ma
'58 Sessions by the Miles Davis Sextet with Bill Evans
Waltz for Debby by the Bill Evans Trio
From the Age of Swing by Dick Hyman
Lush Life by John Coltrane
Mingus Ah Um by Charles Mingus
I left Jim's place with a sudden desire to buy my own house and build my own listening room the very next day. You can't buy a house and hope to find a room ready made like this. My home theater is nice, but the odd shape of my room, the carpet, and the dimensions mean that it is pretty challenging acoustically. I don't find myself listening to CDs as much as I would in the past and had forgotten how transporting that can be, how amazing the B&W 802s can sound.
Three hours went by just like that. Jim finally opened the front door to his house and released me back into society. I stood in his driveway, slightly dazed.

Post-modern spam

I got a spam e-mail today with the subject line, "Tired of deleting spam e-mail?"

My Christmas gift to all of you: $5 to $20

CD price fixing has been alleged for many years now, and I remember reading about a class action lawsuit against the RIAA long ago. Well, it looks like that case is finally bearing fruit. You are a member of the settlement group if you bought a CD, cassette tape, or vinyl record from January 1, 1995, through December 22, 2000. I figure that means pretty much all of you.
Go here to read about your rights and to fill out a claim form, then sit back and wait for a check. It's said that the amount sent to you will depend on how many people fill out the claim form and is estimated to be between $5 and $20.
$5 to $20 is a disappointing sum, to be sure, but times are tough and the RIAA deserves to bleed, so do file your claim. If you're concerened about providing that information required, you can check out the thread here. Sounds legit to me so I went ahead and filled out the form.

Elvis in the house!

A footnote to yesterday's exciting addition to the family: Ryan was born on Elvis' birthday. Given how much Alan loves Elvis, this has his fingerprints all over. Then I remember Sharon's the one who gave birth and realize that he had nothing to do with it.
It certainly makes it easy to remember his birthday.

Ryno robbed

Not that Hall of Fame voting (like Oscar voting) is anywhere near an objective and fair evaluation of skill and worth, but Ryne Sandberg was robbed, and the bleeding-heart Cubs fan in me grieves. I buy into the theory that players who were the best at their position in the 80's will suffer in Hall-of-Fame voting because their stats will suffer in comparison to the jacked-up offensive #'s in the late 90's and early 21st century.
Rob Neyer posted his picks for the top 10 players not in the Hall of Fame:
1. Ryne Sandberg
2. Ron Santo
3. Bert Blyleven
4. Goose Gossage
5. Minnie Minoso
6. Ted Simmons
7. Alan Trammell
8. Dale Murphy
9. Darrell Evans
10. Bobby Grich
Ron Santo's omission is even more surprising, in a way. The man's lost both of his legs to diabetes, and of course he's more than deserving. He's a terrible announcer, but can someone give the man a break?

Emotionally susceptible

Speaking of baseball, the overwhelming public sentiment for electing Pete Rose to the Hall of Fame speaks to how emotionally susceptible and logically suspect public opinion can be. We're a very forgiving nation when it comes to our prominent fallen angels.
There's a great FAQ about the Pete Rose case by Sean Lahman. Rose always had one thing going for him. He was scrappy and he hustled, and fans love that. They love to see millionaires working as hard as they do, and it upholds the integrity of the game which is why we watch, even when our home team is clearly outmatched by the opponent. Ironically, Rose's gambling on baseball undermined that very competitive integrity.
Among other problems I have with Rose (outside of the gamlbing): personally I think he's somewhat of an ass, his skills are overrated due to longevity, and he hurt his own team by writing himself into the lineup to pursue the hit record when the Reds clearly had better options for their lineup. Back in the early 80's, the heyday of my Cubs fandom, I remember watching Rose writing himself into the lineup when he should have sat on the bench, moved Nick Esasky to 1b, and called up Eric Davis and Kal Daniels from the minors to play LF. Eric Davis was among the top players in baseball from 86-90, and you could argue those should have come earlier.
Of course, lawyers and business people and Satanic figures like Martha Stewart seem to be exempt from American's sentimentality. Or perhaps they just have lousy PR reps.

Palm D'or

Spotted this letter to Charley Rosen in an ESPN column and thought it was worth reprinting here:
Though Kobe's physical talents are enormous and the comparisons to MJ warranted, I've never heard anybody mention the one physical trait in which Kobe will always fall short -- hand size. Kobe's hands are much smaller than MJ's and prevent him from easily palming the ball the way Jordan can. This is most noticeable when Kobe tries to finish a drive to the hoop. Because he can't match MJ's gripping power, he often has to release the ball too early. The result is more missed shots in the lane and less creative range. Are you aware of anyone calling this disparity in hand size to attention? -- Carl Peay, Chapel Hill, NC
Yep, the writer is from Chapel Hill, but still, his observation is accurate.
Footnote: in NBA Live 2003 every player can palm the ball behind himself with ease. It was James' Xmas present, and we got some good play time in during break. The freestyle joystick control? Good stuff.

CES/Apple watch

One of these years I really should attend CES. It's the Victoria's Secret fashion show for gadget freaks. I've heard bits and pieces of news on the web about product announcements.
Motorola looks to have some cool wireless phones on the way this year. Motorola has made a valiant comeback in cell phone market share. Nokia had a huge lead, but their cell phone design has remained stale and dull. Nokia phones just aren't that sexy even though their interfaces are great. In fact, cell phones in general haven't made much progress these past several years which is why I'm using the same phone I've had for two years.
If I were to design the ideal cell phone, it would have a small form factor but large color screen, global coverage (some sort of GSM multi-band capability), a WAP browser with GPRS, an integrated digital camcorder/camera, and it would be Bluetooth compatible so I could sync its address book wirelessly with my computers and so that I could use a wireless headset. Some of these Motorola phones may just hit the spot.
As I noted recently, Microsoft is not an innovative company. Bill Gates is no technology visionary. Their CES announcements did nothing to change my mind on that topic. Gates talked about smart devices including some Dick Tracy like watch. It was all terribly dull.
Apple stole lots of thunder from CES by making their usual slew of announcements at Macworld SF. Personally, I'm most excited by the upcoming free update for iMovie 2. iMovie 3 looks awesome, as does Final Cut Express, a cheaper version of Final Cut Pro.
iMovie is the most impressive Mac i-application as it does for free what you once had to do with thousands of dollars of hardware and software, and it does so with as intuitive and simple an interface as can be applied to something as complex as video editing. I've been using it over the past several days to edit some DV footage I shot over Xmas break, and even without a manual I figured out how to use it in a matter of minutes. I'll post my handiwork soon.
iTunes 3 is solid, and while I haven't used iPhoto it looks to be a very competent photo manager. Safari looks sleek and runs fast but is the least exciting of Apple's announcements as it doesn't offer a huge upgrade over other browsers on the market, and why doesn't it import bookmarks? I'm glad to see integrated Google search since Google's toolbar only worked for IE for Windows, but the world really doesn't need more browsers. Keynote, on the other hand, is intriguing simply because any alternative to Powerpoint is a good thing. Given that I'm going on a personal leave, I'm not sure I'll cough up $90 for presentation software, but I'll be keeping my eyes peeled for reviews and comparisons to Powerpoint. If any of you get a copy to play with, let me know what you think.
Speaking of i-applications, I recently realized that iPod software doesn't allow you to move songs from the iPod to the Apple if you select manual synchronization. It's probably because of piracy concerns, but it's annoying. For someone who just wants to save hard-disk space for editing movies, it's a real hassle when you suddenly realize there's a tune on your iPod you'd love to use in a movie and you have to go find the CD again because the song is stranded on your iPod. Plus, if you decide to go back to auto synchronization, all the songs on your iPod are deleted and replaced with what's left on your computer. Just a heads up for all you future iPod owners.
The new Powerbooks, small (12") and ridiculously huge (17") extend the lineup of the world's sexiest laptop, though these new ones are aluminum instead of titanium. I would have liked to seen a bigger keyboard on the 17" Powerbook--typing on laptops is really hard on my wrists and I think they wasted the extra space they created there. The 17" Powerbook with Superdrive is an incredibly tempting tool for video editing because you need all the screen space to accomodate all the windows non-linear editing applications require. Or to accomodate all the windows you might spawn with the new X11, another welcome addition to the Mac OS X universe.
Having been a Mac user for over a year now, I can say that for creative professionals, especially those working with video, the Mac platform is the most user-friendly out there. With a Mac, a DV camcorder, and iMovie, you can make a short movie in a day without a manual. Try to build a DV editing platform on a Windows PC is fraught with compatibility issues and instability. Now, with Final Cut Express bringing the cost of heavy-duty DV editing down to the $300 price point, it's a no brainer to use the Mac as a DV editing platform. Furthermore, design-wise, Macs still beat the pants off of PCs. Finally, the fact that Apple creates many of its own applications means compatibility issues are minimal, whereas on the Windows platform you're always at the mercy of Microsoft or the third-party vendor to create Windows-compatible drivers.
The biggest flaw of the Mac platform is processing speed. For the money, I can get an awesomely fast dual-processor P4 Windows PC with a top-line graphics editing card whereas Macs are still stuck with G4 processors. I get faster Photoshop and video rendering speed with my Windows PC by a large margin.
Still, I enjoy fiddling on my Mac much more than working on my PC. It's true, what they say. Mac users have more fun.

What will I do with my life?

Po Bronson writes an interesting article on the age old question, "What Should I Do With My Life?" Given that I am asking myself the question a lot these days, it was particularly timely, but everyone can benefit from some of the wisdom he gained while interviewing 100's of people for his latest book. The article is much less cliched than you'd expect from an article on this topic, published in a magazine like Fast Company and written by Po Bronson. A couple points from his article jumped out at me.
His concept of the Phi Beta Slacker rings true to me. It's a person who has the talent to do many things in life but always optimizes for perception, always seeks the next thing that will look good on a resume. They lack the courage to fall on their faces. Part of me falls into this camp, and I hate that side of me. It reminds me of the accursed conservative oldest child syndrome which I first read about in the fascinating book Born to Rebel.
He also notes that if you don't like being asked inevitable cocktail question "What do you do?" it's probably because you don't like the answer. Fortunately I haven't had this problem in a long time and hope I never do.
Bronson points out that most of us will never get epiphanies that suddenly indicate exactly what our calling is. Sitting around waiting for destiny to call, for that perfect job, is folly. You have to go out there and try lots of things, fail a lot, before you stumble upon your passion. It's important advice for me to keep in my mind as I move into a "blank spot" in my resume. If I'm not careful, a few months could turn into a year of nothing, a year of fruitless waiting and questioning, and being on the recruiting side of the table I know that people have shelf lives. The question is particularly difficult to answer in this more secular age because one's calling doesn't come from a voice on high. Infinite degrees of freedom leads to paralysis--it's why I think some of the most successful and famous people in the world didn't see a hundred paths open to them. They acted out of desperation or necessity.
The funny thing about trying to figure out what to do with one's life is that I think everyone knows the right approach. In the end, all the cliches ring true--you have to be brave and just step into the void and begin exploring while following your instincts. I have one more week at work before my own such quest begins.

Me an uncle!

Yeah! As of today, I have a nephew. Ryan Samuel Ho. Congrats to Alan and Sharon on their beautiful new baby boy! Can't wait to meet the heir to the throne.
Hmm, I wonder if this means I have to be responsible now. Or maybe I can be the uncle that takes Ryan out for his first drink and his first cigar, and teaches him to drive stick when he isn't of age yet. It's not a glamorous role, but there's a black sheep uncle in every family.
Ben looks like he'll be a father any hour now, also. I try to imagine what it must feel like to be an expectant father on the brink, but I really can't.

Hero

Audrey was in Hong Kong over holiday break and got to see Hero. No words in the English language, but perhaps one or two in Mandarin, can express my jealousy. I am tempted to move up my Hong Kong trip so I can catch it in theaters over there.
She was sweet enough to bring me back the Making of Hero VCD, and I'm debating whether I should watch it. The risk of getting spoiled seems too great.

Gravity moves at the speed of light

Interesting--I hadn't realized that gravity moved at the speed of light, but a recent experiment confirms what Einstein had long suspected.
The implication is that gravity between bodies does not work instantaneously. For example, it takes gravitational waves 8.3 minutes to make it from the Sun to the Earth, so if the Sun suddenly disappeared, we'd have an 8.3 minute grace period before Earth shot off into space.
Of course, larger bodies exert stronger gravitational pull because of their mass, and I'm so massive right now I see people swerve towards me as I pass them in the halls.

Big butt, big gut, c'est moi

I got fat over the holidays. Too much sitting around, hiding inside from the Midwest winters, and too many good meals.
My greatest fear in life is having to move up in waist size from my current 31. That would send me into alcoholism, no doubt. Of course, there's a financial incentive in place--pants are expensive. This is why everyone resolves to lose weight at the start of the year--we all get fat at home.

And now, a word from our sponsor

You may wonder why I'm always plugging various products in my blog. It's because my information processing neurocircuits have been hopefully hijacked by television. Those product plugs are actually advertisements that subsidize my regular, more personal posts. In fact, just as television ads are louder than actual programs, I should put those product plugs in a huge, bold font.

This post brought to you by BMW, the ultimate driving machine.

Or perhaps I should move to a subscription-based model, like HBO, with commercial free posts.

Follow the link

I saw a link in Slashdot today to this thread on Straight Dope which imagines what The Lord of the Rings would've been like had it been written by other literary luminaries.
Cutest was this excerpt from The Fellowship of the Ring as written by Dr. Seuss:
"Gandalf, Gandalf! Take the ring!
I am too small to carry this thing!"
"I can not, will not hold the One.
You have a slim chance, but I have none.
I will not take it on a boat,
I will not take it across a moat.
I cannot take it under Moria,
that's one thing I can't do for ya.
I would not bring it into Mordor,
I would not make it to the border."
In a recent issue of The New Yorker, Louis Menand (who won the Pulitzer Prize for history last year for his book The Metaphysical Club: A Story of Ideas in America) wrote an article on Dr. Seuss and his Cat in the Hat stories. I never realized there were such depths in those children's stories. One of my favorite SNL skits had Jesse Jackson actually appear on Weekend Update to read Green Eggs and Ham.
Speaking of Louis Menand, there's a review of his recent essay collection American Studies in this week's The New Republic. That book's on my wishlist.

Maybe they're undercover cops

I was standing in line for a screening of Narc tonight with Peter, and I couldn't help but be reminded that people who attend movie screenings are frightening. Who are these people? Do they have jobs? Why have they not showered in several days? Do they have any friends? Movie geeks are a frightening lot. The Stranger, or maybe it was the Seattle Weekly, had a term for these movie buffs: passholes (because they always buy the full-series passes for the Seattle Film Festival).
Of course, my snobbery doesn't hide the fact that I'm often among them. I like to think I raise the curve with my sharp dress, razor wit, and roguish charm.

XP = Xtremely Painful

I recently upgraded my desktop PC to Windows XP from Windows 2000 Pro so that I could use remote desktop access with my Mac laptop. I downloaded Dell's upgrade advisor to analyze whether or not my PC and its software were XP upgradeable. After making a few corrections, it seemed I was ready for a step up in the world.
Wrong.
I've got serious problems. First, turns out my soundcard drivers are not XP compatible, and it doesn't look like Cirrus Semiconductor plans to release any such drivers. All I hear out of my computer's speakers are high-pitched screeches. Second, my CD-RW drive? Not Easy CD Creator 5 compatible, but unfortunately Easy CD Creator 4 is not Windows XP compatible. Greeeeaaat. Thanks Dell. Thanks Microsoft. Thanks Roxio. Looks like I may have to buy a new CD-RW drive and a new soundcard, and even then I'm not sure it will help.
Furthermore, it turns out you can't roll back Windows XP upgrades from Windows 2000 Pro. I'm really peeved. There's nothing more lacking in the world than PC support. Software is so damn complicated--if you have a computer problem and no computer genius for a friend, you're really SOL. I am none too pleased with my tech brethren across Lake Washington.
It's not just the problems I have with their software. For all the money they spend on research, and for all their market share and brilliant employees, they are amazingly uninventive.
In hindsight, I should have let the sleeping dog lie. If you can get a Windows PC to a point where it doesn't crash every other day, don't mess with it. The grass on the other side is yellow, wilted, and plagued with weeds.

Whatchoo talkin' bout fool?

King Kaufmann of Salon writes that Serena Williams, not Lance Armstrong, should be Sportsman of the Year. He makes a couple of points:
1. Cycling is all just about pedaling fast.
2. Americans don't care about cycling.
3. Cycling is popular in Europe, and Europeans don't know squat.
4. Serena Williams is a cultural phenomenon. She transcends her sport.
5. Americans pay attention to tennis.
6. Serena won the French Open, Wimbledon, and the U.S. Open, dominating her sport.
7. Maybe racial discrimination is to blame.
He's right on one point, and that's #6, that she dominated her sport this year. On points #1-5 he proves himself to be the ignorant, ugly American. And point #7, which he tosses out there without committing to it, is just cowardly and irresponsible. If you're going to accuse your sportswriting peers at SI of racism, come out and say it. Don't cast aspersions if you're not willing to stand behind them. He writes:
I don't know why Williams doesn't get the respect she deserves. I'd hate to think there's a racial element at play in Sports Illustrated's choice of Armstrong over her, but this is America, and if we're honest we dismiss the issue of race at our peril. Fashion magazines reportedly don't sell as well when they have black women on the cover as when they have whites. Could S.I. have been thinking along those lines? I hope not, and I seriously doubt it -- neither Williams sister is a stranger to the magazine's cover -- but I can't imagine what criteria there might be under which Williams wouldn't win. (Willingham, the Sporting News' winner, is black.)
Weak weak weak.
To address his other points:
1. Cycling is not about pedaling fast. The same way running is not just about being the fastest runner, or auto racing is not just about flooring it the whole way around the track. Even Lance acknowledges that he's not the world's most talented cyclist. To win the world's toughest endurance event four years in a row requires talent, courage, skill, brains, and a tremendous capacity for suffering. That King does not bother doing any homework on cycling despite being a supposed sportswriter just indicates his ignorance or laziness, or both.
2. Americans do care about cycling now, and Lance is in great part responsible for that. San Francisco now holds an annual Grand Prix bike race, and New York City shut down to host the first annual NY Grand Prix this past fall, and neither would have happened without Lance's success in the Tour.
3. Jingoistic crap.
4. Serena Williams is an interesting person, but wearing some provocative outfits does not a cultural phenomenon make. I don't see anyone dressing like her. I've never once had a conversation with anyone about her. One successful year does not a tennis career make. Meanwhile, Lance Armstrong's autobiography is the bestselling sports biography of all time, and cancer patients everywhere look to him as a savior. I was in France for the Tour and saw thousands of Americans running up the mountains alongside Lance, with Texas horns on their heads and American flags painted on their chests.
5. America does not care about tennis. It's a sport in serious decline and needs help. Too bad, because it's a lot of fun.
Fortunately, readers of Salon called Mr. Kaufman out on his poorly researched attempt at playing provocateur.

Australian Visa

I've been trying all morning to apply for a darn Visa for Australia using this online site. Three times now I've gone through all the steps, filled in all my info, only to get to the last step and receive the message "The credit card processing system is down. Please try again shortly."
Gee, thanks. That's great. Why don't you give me that message ahead of time, so I don't have to waste 10 minutes of my life?

Chicken fighting with a girl

Seeing Jordan drop 41 on a Pacers team coached by the whiny Isaiah Thomas and led by the whining Reggie Miller still gives me an inordinate amount of pleasure. Jordan once compared playing against Reggie Miller with "chicken fighting with a girl" because of the way Miller grabs and tugs with his arms and hands or flops at the slightest contact on defense and the way he pushes off with his arms to get open on offense.
Everyone knows Miller pushed off of Jordan to get open for the game winning 3 in the 98 playoffs to force a game 7. Ridiculous no-call, almost as bad as the foul call on Pippen against Hubert Davis to allow the Knicks to get past the Bulls in the 95 playoffs.
Isaiah? Great player, but forever an ass in my mind for first leading the Jordan freeze-out in the All-Star game when Jordan was a rookie, and also for walking off of the court before the end of the game when the Bulls finally swept the Pistons in the playoffs. What a chump.

Peter and Sarah Clarke, sitting in a tree

Peter dated Sarah Clarke while he lived in NYC! Holy #$%!
Of course, he's over watching football today and just drops it on me casually.
"Hey, do you watch 24?" he asks me.
"Sure, why?" I ask.
"I saw this girl I used to date, she was on the front page of USA Today, face to face with Kiefer Sutherland. She's in the show," he says.
"Really!? Holy shit. What's her name?" I say. And almost immediately, I'm thinking, oh my god, he dated Nina Myers.
"Sarah Clarke," he says, not even looking at me.
At this point I proceed to scream a couple of expletives and wave my hands wildly while Peter sits on the sofa stares at me with a look both bored and scronful, a look that says, oh you poor, pitiful man, have you not dated any celebrities?
I am still somewhat devastated. Of course, the real loser here is Sarah, who ended up marrying Xander Berkeley, the guy who plays George Mason. Peter is much cooler.

Best Buy PCs

I love my Mac Powerbook, but if I were to buy a Windows laptop I'd seriously consider the vpr Matrix 200A5 from Best Buy. Yeah, that's right, Best Buy! Who knew. Two Firewire ports? Sweet sweet.

Dwindling iPod batteries

Anytime a device has a rechargeable battery that can't be replaced, you worry about diminishing battery life. Looks like the iPod, great as it is, may suffer from the same problem. Bummer.

Tip for you TIVO users

BigMarv posts a TIVO easter egg that allows you to get 30 second commercial skip, like on the now defunct ReplayTV. God bless America.

Kill Bill

Trailer for the new Tarantino movie Kill Bill is up.
Oh yeah.

Back

Back in Seattle after a long and treacherous flight into windy Seattle. More than a few times, all of us on the plane contemplated death in a fiery crash as the plane pitched in heavy winds. A stewardess went flying at one point, and one passenger who had been in the bathroom sprinted down the aisle back to her seat with a look of terror on her face. I can't recall exactly, but I think she had her pants on backwards.
I must confess to having been as Internet and cell-phone free as I've been in years for the past two weeks. I'm sure it will take me through the weekend to catch up on everything. I look forward to it.
Happy new year to all!

Magic Month for Movies

It is good that the last month of the year, all the studios release their Oscar hopefuls. Roger Ebert's reviews of movies opening in Chicago this week ran as follows:

Congratulations Rich

Old roommate Rich is engaged to Christina! Smiles all around.
Alan and Sharon's baby, Dan and Lori, Rich and Christina...it's a happy holiday season where love is in the air.

Indian party at the HOB

Went with Karen, Mike, and Joannie to an Indian party at the House of Blues tonight. We didn't know it was an Indian party until we arrived. We were headed there to see Karen's old college dance group perform.
What do the Indian-American youth enjoy? The same thing other party kids do: hip hop and mixed drinks. It was fun to hear some Indian music mixed by a DJ, and not so fun to realize that lame DJs dance around on stage at these parties as well, trying to rile up the crowd by shouting, "All the motherf***ing Punjabis in the house, let's hear some motherf***ing noise!!!"

Scene it anywhere?

This movie trivia board game with some questions requiring footage from a DVD is turning out to be really hard to find. It's only carried by Nordstrom and Toys R Us/Amazon.com, and I've tried 3 Nordstrom stores and it's sold out at every one. Amazon finally has it back in stock but it's too late to ship for the holidays, when you can play with your family. I'm not even sure it's all that fun, but when you can't find something after several moderate attempts, it gains an allure which is entirely disproportionate to its actual value.

Six Towers

I saw The Two Towers with my family today. It was my third time seeing it, and I have to say, that's enough for a while.

Notes from family time

Something my sisters pointed out and which I've realized is true: have you ever played in a Pictionary game that hasn't resulted in a few heated arguments? Everyone's cut throat when it comes to that game. It's to the point where I don't think it's worth playing with family and friends.
Joannie and Mike's new condo is huge!
Everytime my sisters and I see each other it's like we're all 15 years old again. We still call each other "dork" all the time--it's our favorite word. And we're still too chicken to really flip each other the bird so we're always flipping each other the ring finger. Sometimes I think we'll be doing this even when we have kids of our own and we'll be like those embarassing hippy parents who are less mature than their kids.

Ow!

I lost in Scrabble to Karen tonight because I challenged her on the word "ow." I'm sorry, but that is not a word. According to the official Scrabble dictionary which my dad bought me in 1983, it is a word. It's an exclamation of pain. Huh? More like "ouch" to me.

The weather outside is frightful

It was fairly mild when I arrived at the airport yesterday, so I was actually quite happy to see the snow falling this morning. Whoooooo-eeee! It's cold out there.

L'idiot

The new PIN for my dial-up account on my laptop was on a post-it note, and that note fell off my computer sometime in the last few weeks. So I go to dial into work this morning and I enter my old PIN several times in a row, and the computer rejects me each time and finally locks me out altogether. So the rest of my trip, I can't dial into my work account.
Typical male, I am. Won't take no for an answer from the computer so I enter the same PIN over and over, like a bird trying to fly through a glass window and bouncing off of it like a dodo (I love that Far Side where a dinosaur is lecturing to an entire room of dinosaurs. "Bad news folks: the earth is warming, food supplies are dwindling, and we all have brains the size of a walnut.").

How do I bottle this?

I

What a day it has been

Notes on revisiting The Two Towers for a second time:
--Gollum is just as captivating the 2nd time around. He has the most expressive eyes this side of Elijah Wood, and his physical motion is amazingly distinctive and lifelike. CGI characters are a new art form, and Gollum is its new Mona Lisa.
--You have to see the movie twice just to see every detail in every part of the screen. Those swooping, soaring camera shots contain frames that show so much, especially during the battle of Helm's Deep and the attack of Isengard by the Ents. If you divided the screen into three quadrants, left, right, and middle, something different is occurring in each.
--The battle scenes are incredible in their scale, and Jackson shows that using computers to animate soldiers allows you to stage a battle with literally 10,000 soldiers on one side without having to hire out half a country to don costumes.
--Despite the scale and complexity of the fight scenes, you always know exactly where each character is and what's going on. That takes skill. The overhead crane shots illustrate exactly how Helm's Deep is laid out and where different battles are occurring. In one incredible shot, you see Orcs rushing through a breach in the wall in the left third of the screen, archers repelling Orcs on ladders in the center of the screen, and Orcs pounding at the main gate in the right quadrant, all in one 5 second shot. It's an amazingly skillful shot, pulled off using a combination of CGI and actual camera footage.

What a night it has been

I have so many stories to tell, from this past weekend, tonight. And I can't tell any of them. As much as a blog is public, so I am such a private person. What an odd hobby for me. Someone told me once that she always felt that there was this part of me that was alone and hidden away, and she was probably right. Some people have this fascination with trying to peel away all the layers of this cocoon I live in, to see what's hidden in there. Others probably just think I'm dull.
Tonight I attended a charity screening of The Two Towers. How I got a ticket is one of those stories maybe I'll tell someday. Anyway, I won't give away any plot spoilers about the movie because I want everyone to see it fresh. Robbing someone of seeing this movie for the first time would be a first-degree crime. But I just want to say that it was so much fun I nearly soiled my pants.
Peter Jackson has figured out how to tap the majesty of the heroism at the heart of the books and channel it on screen with grandeur that pulls LOTR geeks and the average Joe and even film snobs' hearts out of their chests. The animation of Gollum/Smeagol is brilliant--what Jar Jar Binks wishes he could be as a fully-realized digital character.
Two flaws. One, this movie is clearly part of a trilogy. As a stand-alone movie it is exciting but would lose some dramatic tension. Second, as a rip-roaring action movie it lacks some depth and complexity of character. When Gollum is perhaps your most sharply conflicted character, you know it's a plot-driven tale. The rest of the cast have become almost character actors.
Still, every character's face is perfect for the role, and if the adventure and action tale are the heart of this movie, what a rousing payoff it is. A couple times the audience burst out in applause or gasped with pleasure, and the sheer love of movies and joy in the theater was palpable. I'm taking 39 of my Seattle friends and favorite coworkers to see it as a Xmas gift this Wednesday morning and I can't wait to see it in their company. Watching a movie with friends and seeing them thrilled is more fun than enjoying it myself, and I'm sure others know what I mean. It's the only time I can say that the happiness of others is better than my own happiness and not sound like a phony.
(I'm finding it hard to sleep recently, as you can tell from the time of my posts. Before I leave for holiday vacations, I always find it hard to sleep. The excitement of seeing family again, going home and hanging out with my brothers and sisters, it's a natural shot of adrenaline. And then there's the added emotional confusion of taking this leave of absence, and the realization that the movie screening might be the last time I see some of them for a long time. Forever? I try not to think that way, and yes, I haven't decided for sure one way or the other, but the possibility, small or large as it may be, is hard to dismiss. There's a scene in The Two Towers which discusses whether or not someone will see someone ever again, and the words weighed on me (read too much Tolkien and I'll start writing lines like that. "His words weighed on me like a dark portent. My face turned ashen." Melodramatic, but ah, such gravitas when read by a sullen Viggo Mortensen. Okay, no more nested parentheticals.) If it is a last dance, though, what better way than to spend it at an opening day showing of a huge blockbuster movie at a state-of-the-art audio/visual arena like Cinerama in the company of comrades? Those who know me know how many of my buttons that presses.)
I have the soundtrack to The Two Towers (another winner from Howard Shore) and have been listening to it non-stop in my car, and there's one track which I latched onto today. Track 16, "Forth Eorlingas". There's a stretch of it that's just magical, from 2:14 to 2:42, and I listened to it probably 10 to 15 times today before seeing the movie. I had no idea when it would be used. Then, suddenly, I heard it in the background, and wouldn't you know it, the scene just happened to be perhaps the climax of the movie, a point when your spirit just goes soaring, and when the music reached its stride my throat was somewhere on the ceiling. Sometimes in life we experience these small emotional coincidences and the human mind can't help but see them as epiphanies. I'll always remember it as one of my favorite moviegoing moments.
I was sitting in the fifth row, and at the immense Cinerama theater that's overwhelming, especially for an action flick. The battle scenes with handheld shots left me dizzy, but the overall experience was one of being swallowed by the screen, overwhelmed by the pageantry. John Rhys Davies, Gimli the dwarf, voice of Treebeard, made an appearance and welcomed us to enjoy this masterpiece.
After the movie, we all got goodie bags. I felt like I was at the Oscars. I haven't flipped through my bag yet, but I saw a copy of the DVD of the first movie, a copy of the Two Towers novel, and some other stuff. It's a bonus awaiting me in the morning, like Prince Charming waking up to find a glass slipper in his hand to let him know it wasn't all some dream.
And then, after the movie....well, there's another story for another night. I'm exhausted. Time to sleep. Suffice it to say, what a night it has been.

About About Schmidt

I took Peter to a special screening of About Schmidt on Sunday night. Jim Taylor, the co-writer, was in attendance with his family. A few thoughts (minor spoilers ahead for those who want to see it fresh):

• Jack Nicholson gives a first-rate performance. No doubt. As Jim Taylor noted in Q&A afterwards, Jack was told by Alexander Payne (co-writer with Jim Taylor and director on this and Citizen Ruth and Election and Jurassic Park III) to "play a small man" and he does. In doing so, he proves that he still earns his keep, unlike others from his generation. He does so much in this movie, from the pacing of his line readings to actual physical comedy, and it's all superb.


• Still, I didn't believe that he was anyone other than Jack. Not because of his performance, but because he's Jack. I'm not sure there's anyway around that other than to cast someone else. In fact, it was funny because when Jack's wife first comes on screen I thought it was his mother, perhaps, because I'm so used to seeing Jack with the Lara Flynn Boyle's of the world. Nothing in his actual acting screamed "Jack" but someone with his career and pedigree and fame just can't be an ordinary person. He's larger than life.


• Taylor and Payne have smart, razor sharp knives in their arsenal, and they use them all to slice their subjects to pieces. There's this line from the movie, "Dear Ndugu," and I laughed like a madman every time I heard it, and it appears many times. The small-town folk from Omaha Nebraska are hilarious in their provinciality.
• I felt a bit uncomfortable by the end of the movie because watching obviously smart and clever city guys like Taylor and Payne pick apart small-town folk like the ones played by Kathy Bates and Dermot Mulroney (unrecognizable!!) would be like watching Alan Dershowitz cross-examine George Bush or something like that. It's a heavyweight bullying the village idiot. I've read reviews that claim this is a humanistics movie, and someone even thanked Taylor for making these characters sympathetic. Huh?! Please watch the movie (it's quite entertaining) and see if you agree with me. I though those characters were set up for merciless ridicule.

It was, uh, neat

Is it okay to diss a play or concert or whatever if someone gets you tickets for it? Maybe only if I was Larry David. I think it would make a good episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm or Seinfeld. Someone takes you to a movie or play, and then afterwards they ask you what you thought. Are you allowed to say you didn't like it?
On the one hand, any opinionated semi-snob feels it's beneath themselves to praise mediocrity. After all, there's the sanctity of one's taste and intellectual integrity to preserve. On the other hand, it does seem somewhat rude. I mean, here you are, enjoying the pleasure of a friend. Why go cause all that unpleasantness? Plus, they might not invite you out next time, and who knows, maybe they'll pick a winner (that last line sounds so much like something George would think).
I admit, I try to avoid the situation by asking the gift horse what they thought first. If they didn't enjoy it, I'm more likely to let loose with my true feelings. If they enjoyed it and ask me what I thought I'll try and find a few things I liked. Seriously, it's like someone asks you if you enjoyed the music at their wedding. What are you going to say?
I'm going to write this into an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. I know they supposedly improvise all that, but I'll send it in anyway.