Vice Do's and Don'ts

Vice (Magazine) Do's and Don'ts - excellent, though not G-rated, as is the norm with Vice articles. One of the things I most looked forward to in Seattle was picking up a free copy of Vice from Rudy's whenever I got a haircut. (via kottke via Gulfstream)
Some is surprising to hear in the States:
If your parents don't happily pay for all your education, they are stupid gaylords. No matter how poor you are. They're also supposed to help you start a business and pay for the wedding and help you buy a house. Of course, once they get too old to live normally, you have to take them in. Old-age homes are not cool.
On fashion:
The basic rule is: You have to be at least a little uncomfortable.
We are in an epoch right now when everyone is determined to be at a sleepover. Nobody can endure any discomfort whatsoever, not even for a moment. If a woman goes out on a limb and gets dressed up one night, she punishes the world by wearing track pants and flip-flops for days after. If a man feels even slightly warm he takes his shirt off and lets the whole world see his hairy tits. Back in the Wild West, we were wearing three-piece suits and top hats in the middle of July. Can we not have at least a modicum of discipline? It's not that hard. Men just need to stay away from belly tattoos, chokers, cargo shorts, cargo pants, umbrellas (under any circumstances), colored sunglasses, long hair, tribal tattoos, wool hats, and piercings. Women need to avoid platform flip-flops, belly-button piercings, toe rings, cleavage, low-riding jeans if they're chubby (we're talking to you, London, England), thongs, shirts made to look like tattoos, cowboy hats, fake tans, and Von Dutch.
Another 100 Do's and Don'ts from the Onion's Amie Barrodale.