SUV for those who least need one

Porsche is finally pulling back the curtains on their entry in the SUV market, the Cayenne.
The turbo version goes from 0 to 62mph in 5.6 seconds. That's flat out ridiculous. Seriously, who needs that kind of power in an SUV? Gas-guzzling, environmentally unfriendly, pretentious SUV for people whose closest encounter with offroad driving is when their teenager runs over their lawn on their first attempt to learn to drive. Totally preposterous.
I want one.