With my newfound free time, I finally finished reading a Sunday NYTimes. It took me three weeks, but I finally made it through every section.
It's a full-time job just keeping up with magazines and newspapers. I have this strange compulsion to peruse every article of a magazine before throwing it out. A warped echo of my mother's admonition to finish every item on my dinner plate, perhaps. Do they sell patches for this condition? Just stick one under your ear and it feeds random news articles into your brain.