I find I enjoy the online version of McSweeney's even more than the print version. Take this guide to meeting people more famous than you. An excerpt:
Pay that person a compliment, but don't kiss their ass. For example, one time I saw Cameron Diaz at a party and told her I thought she was pretty funny for a girl. She was very flattered because she understood that I respected her enough to not insult her intelligence by saying she was as funny as a man. Long story short: I banged her.