I'm sure it's been blogged to death already, but since I was out of the country I'm pleading ignorance and reprinting this. The Washington Post Style section holds a contest in which readers are invited to write directions using the style of a famous writer. The winning entry is quite humorous:
The Hokey Pokey (as written by W. Shakespeare)
O proud left foot, that ventures quick within
Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.
Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke,
A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
To spin! A wilde release from Heavens yoke.
Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl.
The Hoke, the poke -- banish now thy doubt
Verily, I say, 'tis what it's all about.