Missed connections for A-holes

We made small talk in the checkout line at Trader Joe’s. You said that you literally could not live without the salsa you were buying. I wish we could talk again. You used “literally” incorrectly. It really pissed me off. I wish you could literally not live without that salsa, because then I’d take it from you.

* * * 

At a bar celebrating my friend’s birthday in midtown. You were wearing Google Glass. I tried to mouth, “You look like a moron.” Did you record that?

From Ethan Kuperberg at The New Yorker: Missed Connections for A-Holes.

There are already outlets for this type of passive aggressive l'esprit de l'escalier, though. Twitter, Facebook status updates, the Yelp trauma narrative.